The Life of Hermione
by AACS
Summary: Hermione and Draco’s diary entries.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This is me and my mates (Danny's) first fic so be kind hope you enjoy! Please review.

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Hermione's POV

1st September

My first day as a sixth year has been pretty weird; Draco Malfoy (Oh so arrogant prick) keeps staring at me (God give me strength) I don't know what the fuck he thinks he's doing but if he freaks me out again I'll give him a detention!

Love 'mione

2nd September

Today I caught Neville hiding in my washing basket with a bra on his head (god is he retarded or does he just think prancing around with sexy lingerie on that hollow head of his is fun?) I just carried on with my ironing and left him to his own devices whatever they may be!

3rd September

Why does it always have to be me that attracts the weirdo's? This morning at breakfast I caught Ron looking down my top (His facial expression was rather like that of a bewildered frog!) I gave that gormless toad a right good slap and told him to piss right off!

'mione

4th September

Gave Mr 'I'm a walking ice cube' a detention because he freaked me out again. He kept staring at me all the way through Care of magical creatures and he was gradually moving closer and closer to me!

Love Hermione

P.s Found Neville in washing again, shoot me now!


	2. Chapter 2

Draco's POV

September 1st

Diary, couldn't help but stare at Granger today, she was looking so fine; I didn't like the way weasley and longbottom were staring at her though. I congratulate myself on giving them my iciest glare!

Draco (sex god)

September 2nd

Diary, I have had the weirdest day ever! I caught pansy licking her lips while she was looking at me so I ran off and hid under Goyle's bed (you seriously don't want to know what the fuck I found under there!)

Catch you later, your favourite playboy, Draco.

September 3rd

Diary, saw Ron looking down Grangers top today; wanted to put Cruciactus curse on him but was too busy running away from man-eater Pansy ! (God have mercy on me!)

See you tomorrow, Draco

September 4th

Diary, I'm a stupid fuckin' dick! Granger said on the first day back that if she caught me staring at her again she'd either twat me one or give me a detention…She did both! She smacked me in the gob and gave me a det with filch tomorrow. Pansy's coming up to my room later too 'cheer me up' (at least I'll be getting something other than a smack!)

Got to go I can hear Pansy's voice (got to get into sexy position on bed!)

Draco

P.s I look damn fuckin' gorgeous!


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione POV

5th September

Dear Diary, last night I didn't get a wink of sleep because stupid fucking Malfoy was fucking pansy up (mind you I think he got his punishment mixed up with his pleasure!) and when I went in to have a go at them I got a bra thrown at my head! So I left the slimy, perverted git to it!

Love Herm

6th September

Dear Diary, I had to get Ron banned from my room because:

He set up a magically powered video camera above my shower.

2. He's a perverted little shit.

Love 'mione

7th September

Dear Diary, Neville's in the hospital wing because I pushed him down the stairs after he kept insisting we needed to 'talk' (ew) Gotta go I think Ron's having a go at Harry for snogging Ginny

Love Hermione

8th September

Dear Diary, Ron's in the hospital wing now! I socked him one cause he tried to grope my chest (stupid prat!) so I knocked the perversion out of him (though I think I'll have to put myself in detention for it)

Lots of love 'mione


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I'd just like to say thanks to **CakeisCupid** and Shivais 

for reviewing my story when it first came up (you're the only thing that kept me wring!) Also I'd just like to say that Mp means magically powered. Enjoy!

Draco's POV

September 5th

Diary, I've got my det with Filch tonight (Pansy's been moaning about it all day!) Last night was great ! I may even consider going out with Parkinson (If she wears a bag on her head!) Well gotta go detention in ten minutes

Draco

P.s I still look damn fucking gorgeous!

September 6th

Diary, I heard Weasleby put an Mp video camera above Granger's shower. I'd wreck his face for her but it looks like someone already beat me to that (snigger)

See you tomorrow cause I need the loo now!

Draco

P.s not looking gorgeous looking constipated

P.p.s will look gorgeous when I come back!

September 7th

Diary, father wrote to me today and he sent me a flyer 'how to be a junior death eater' I would read it but frankly I can't be bothered and if I wasted forty minutes of my life reading the shitty thing it would be likely I would want them forty minutes back

Yours sincerely sexy,

Draco

September 8th

Diary, I read the flyer and I was right, I want my forty minutes back

GIVE ME MY FUCKING FORTY MINUTES BACK!

Draco

P.s still as sexy as ever (especially sexy when I'm angry at my bastard of a father)


	5. Chapter 5

Hermione's POV 

9th September

Dear Diary, Ron and Neville are back from the hospital wing (their both avoiding me thank god) I think Draco Malfoy's going to sue me for the damage to his face (I thought his nose has always been slightly off-centre) Also one of my best bra's has gone missing but I wont mention any names (Neville you sneaky little bastard give it back!)

Anyway must go Harry's just come through the portrait hole and I want him to do a little 'investigating' for me.

'mione

10th September

Dear Diary, Harry did the 'investigating' for me and I got my bra back (Harry was rather embarrassed when he fished it out from under Neville's bed and Ginny walked in, its probably the only time I've heard a boy say 'its not what it looks like' when he was telling the truth!)

Love Herms

11th September

Dear Diary, Me and Harry have had a massive row (him and Ginny split up after the bra incidence!) I think I'll go and apologize later and I'll explain to Ginny why Harry was holding up a leopard skin bra looking triumphant last night (oops!)

I'll tell you how it goes tomorrow

Hermione

12th September

Dear Diary, I think Harry took it quite well! (Thank god!) He and Ginny have got back together but when I was explaining to Ginny Ron overheard and started laughing at me and calling me Jim; it took me quite a while to realise that the stupid sod was pissed out of his mind!

'mione


	6. Chapter 6

Draco's POV 

September 9th

Diary, Granger thinks I might sue her for damage to my face! I would never do that to my life long love! Also something incredibly weird happened to me today; Pansy dragged me out into the gardens, pushed me against a wall declared her undying love for me, ripped my shirt off and shagged me! At the time I just closed my eyes and pretended it was Hermione but as soon as Pansy let her guard down I ran to the boy's toilets and puked! (Enough said about that!)

Catch you later, Draco

September 10th

Diary, She's out to get me! Yes you know, the one with the fish lips and the washing machine tongue! When I got back to my room last night (after the endless hours of vomiting!) she came looking for me I tried to hide but she can sniff a sexy boy out at any range (curse my damn fine fucking looks!) anyway I don't think you want to know the rest and I've got to go suffer another five hours of chucking up the entire contents of my stomach for just thinking about it!

Draco

September 11th

Diary, not much happened today (I've been in hiding after the events of last night though!) except Blaze came and told me that Potter and Weasley have split up (the girl weasley, though I have always thought something strange was going on between Ron and Potter!) like I said nothing interesting, as both of them aren't half as gorgeous as me!

Draco

September 12th

Diary, today was the most hilarious day of my life Weasley got stoned and started calling Hermione Jim (evil laugh) now Weasel's out of the way there's nothing stopping me from asking Granger out (except maybe the slight problem that it's a known fact that she hates me and wishes I would die slowly and extremely painfully!)

Draco (babe magnet)

P.s may ask Granger out tomorrow!


	7. Chapter 7

Hermione's POV 

13th September

Dear Diary, when I was in the library today Ron came looking for me, he asked me why I was ignoring him so I told him the highly amusing story of him getting drunk! (I normally don't hang out with alkies I swear) Anyway speaking of drunk, Draco Malfoy was pissed today! Want to know how I know? Well he came into the library shortly after Ron left and he… ASKED ME OUT! Somebody call the daily prophet! I can see it now it'd be a front pager 'Malfoy asks Mudblood out!

Gotta go now it's getting late

Love Herms

14th September

Dear Diary, remember I told you that Draco was stoned when he asked me out, he wasn't, but he did get pissed when he'd run back to his room (oops!) why do I get the feeling its all my fault that he hasn't been in classes for the past day? Oh well serves him right for creeping me out that day in care of magical creatures!

'mione

15th September

Dear Diary, I'm getting pretty scared now, Malfoy hasn't been in classes and he's not been at breakfast lunch or dinner! Why isn't that strange little guy eating! (did I seriously just call Malfoy a little guy? Oh fuck! I'm going nuts at the age of 17) I think I'll go for a lie down if I did just call Draco what I think I just called Draco!

Hermione

16th September

Dear Diary, Draco's back lets celebrate! (I don't think that lie down was enough I'd better go see Madame Pomfrey !

Hermione


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Dear readers thank you for reading my Fanfic but I am afraid I'm going to have to cut it short as I've just thought of a truly brilliant and romantic story line (still Harry Potter of course) it's called … 'I'm in heaven' ooooooh bet that ones got you going! I bet your thinking who's that talking about? Please read 'n' review this brill new fic!

Draco's POV

September 13th

Diary, you know that song 'boys don't cry' IT LIES DON'T BELIEVE A DUMB WORD OF ITS LYRICS BOYS DO CRY! Boys cry when their fathers put them under the Cruciactus curse, boys cry when they get ignored coz there the Arctic on legs, boys cry when they get rejected by the girl they've always loved! Right now I've got that off my chest I think I'll go down to dinner!

Draco

September 14th

Diary, sorry about that outburst last night! In fact just to make it up to you I'm going to sacrifice this space in the page to apologise over and over again: Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry I'M SOOO SORRY DIARY I LOVE YOU REALLY!

Draco

September 15th

Diary, I hope I said sorry enough times last night! Not much happened today except everyone kept asking me why I was off so long BLOODY HELL I WAS ONLY OFF TWO DAYS DO THEY LOVE ME THAT MUCH? Any way I've got to go on my head boy rounds now

See you soon

Draco

September 16th

I'm sorry but this is gonna have to be quick as I've got to hide from Pansy oh the wardrobe would be good I'll go get in it

Draco


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: This is a good time to say I'm going on holiday, I know riveting isn't it (is riveting actually a word) anyway lets get on with the fucking chapter.

Hermione's POV

17th September

Dear Diary, Okay Draco's back and that's a good thing (Okay this is getting freaky, I'm sure I saw Ron put something in my drink this morning!) but he's not eating, it looks as if he's not sleeping and he's only just breathing! (Why am I saying it as if it's a bad thing?) I think I'd better go apologise.

'mione

18th September

Dear Diary, I went and apologised to Draco and guess what…I KISSED him. I SNOGGED DRACO MALFOY COS HE'S A SEXY BEAST AND I'VE FANCIED HIM SINCE FIRST YEAR!

Anyway I'm going to ask him out today, Ron's not going to like that but who cares about a toad's opinion?

Love Hermione

P.s Draco (I call him by his first name now!) is a brilliant kisser!

19th September

Dear Diary, I'm going out with Draco! I'm going to see him later, he's in the hospital wing cos Ron caught us making out in the common room so he Draco (by his ear) to the top of the dungeon steps and threw him down them!

Herms

20th September

Dear Diary, Draco's so sweet! He pushed Ron off his broom during quidditch and he did it for me! Even Harry laughed at him!

Gotta' go I'm going to help Dragon (Draco) beat up Zacharias Smith! 

Hermione


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Sorry about the lateness of this chapter but the plane made me feel sick!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Hermione's leopard skin bra!

Draco's POV

September 17th

Diary, I'm back in classes and I saw Granger staring at me looking relieved (success at last!) enough said!

Draco

September 18th

Diary, Today was the best day of my life, I kissed Hermione (hope I've spelt her name right!) Oh no! What about my dad! Stuff him you know what I say to him: GET A HAIRCUT!

Draco

September 19th

Diary, I'm going to make a list of the things my dad is:

Tit

Bum cheek

Bum fluff

Bum flake

Bum flap

Bum

Hobo's left shoe

Hobo's right shoe for that matter

Hobo.

September 20th

Dear Diary, I'm going to suggest Granger and I live together

(In my lovely gothic castle where we can live happily ever after!)

I'll promise to get her a Gucci beanbag for making love on (Sound fun to you? Anyway better go see what sizes beanbags actually can go up to!)

Draco- sex machine- Dragon!


	11. Chapter 11

Hermione's point of view 

21st September

Dear Diary,

Me and Draco arranged a date for tomorrow, should be fun

Got to pick out what I'm wearing and straighten my hair, do not want to look like a poodle on viagra!

Herm

22nd September

The date was successful (I didn't look like a poodle on viagra!)

Also Draco and me are moving in together, apparently he told his father to either live with it or leave (he left!) It's gonna be great I'm packing right now!

Hermy (Draco's new pet name)

23rd September

Dear Diary,

I'm moving in tomorrow! It's gonna be the start of a loving relationship!

Sigh

Herms (Another new pet name!)

24th September

Diary,

I'm moving in later on today, were going to make love on a Gucci beanbag in front of a roaring fire (How romantic!)

WOE BETIED ANYONE WHO TRIES TO STOP ME!

Herm

Yes, Hermione and Draco did move in together and had 17 kids, which isn't too many considering Draco is indeed an infer maniac! Hermione went wrinkly and bald due to the stress of having 17 kids whilst keeping up Draco's excessive demands! Draco works late (Enough said about that, don't want to cause any trouble!)

Thanx to:

Hazel-Hiss

The squirrels are after me

Mel

AND EVERYBODY ELSE WHO REVEIWED OR READ THIS STORY, I LOOOOOVE YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLLL!

**_THE END _**

**_(They all lived happily ever after, Hermione and the kids at home in the gothic castle and Draco in someone elses bed!)_**


End file.
